As a struggling writer, applying for jobs in that selected field is a weekly ritual. There ain’t much out there, so you find yourself applying for things you have zero interest in. Fashion writer wanted for online style magazine,unpaid. I could do that! Sharpener of pencils wanted for unpaid fashion writer in style magazine, unpaid. I could do that!
A few weeks ago, I applied for two jobs; Studio Booker in Media City and Tour Guide on Coronation Street. Honestly, I thought I had more of a chance booking studios - on my CV I managed to blag an entire paragraph about how I used to book cars using Microsoft Courier Log.
The Coronation Street job was one I was actually very interested in, but the application said the chosen applicant would preferably speak another language (Je M’appelle can’t) and that they’d have a degree in drama (I only had a GCSE). I applied anyway, because why not?
And then I received a letter in the post. I had an audition!
An audition!? Bloody hell. I spent the following week shouting, “I’m not an actor!” Of course, I was aware that being a tour guide would involve performance, that was fine, but an audition? With other actors? In FRONT of the other actors? Hungry, out-of-work actors? I felt like a fraud.
I wrote a one minute audition, which was a tour of Number One Coronation Street (the Barlow’s house) and the Rovers Return. In 2011, I went on a tour of the street when it was still a working set, and I remembered the little titbits of information we were given, and included them in my audition piece.
Here are the notes I made;
We’re at number one coronation st, home to the Barlow family ever since the first episode in 1960. This is the kitchen, where we’d often find Deirdre Barlow, drinking a glass of red wine (her favourite) or making a family meal.
Now, as we all know, Deirdre has had her fair share of men. You may notice that her oven door won’t shut properly. Her loose oven door represents her loose… morals.
Now if you’ll follow me, we’ll take a look at the Rovers! This ICONIC set’s walls and windows can be moved about, to allow the camera team to film from different angles. Through the magic of editing it gives the viewer the illusion that it’s all one room.
There is a lot of speculation of ghosts and ghouls on this set. A lot of spooky activity has been reported over the years, specifically from the doorway to the gents toilets.
Follow me to the set of the back room. Lots of history in here. Legends such as Annie Walker, Bet Lynch, Betty Turpin and Liz McDonald have walked among this set. You will rarely see a serious argument take place in this room. You may remember a recent caper in which Steve McDonald and Andrea are “caught in the act”, resulting in Steve getting kebab all over his face. The funky wall paper helps convey the humour many of the scenes filmed in here have.
I rehearsed and rehearsed, much to the annoyance of my co-workers at Booths, who had to listen to me repeat it constantly.
A week after I received my letter, I went on a set tour with my friend Claire. I’d decided that I’d use this opportunity as research. We were welcomed by Martin, who introduced David the Tour Guide. I studied David the Tour Guide a lot; his performance, movement, audience interaction, his jokes… but I was also just enjoying the tour. I bloody love Coronation Street. I was like the geeky kid on the school field trip, answering all of David the Tour Guide’s questions about the show. “Have you been reading my script?” he joked. I took this as a good sign.
After we’d seen the dressing rooms, the costume department and the sets, we were taken out onto the street. People were allowed to pair off and have a walk around, and I took this moment to speak to Martin and David the Tour Guide, and ask them for some tips.
“In the audition, don’t tell them you’re a fan. It puts them right off,” Martin said, then he pointed at me, “I’m gonna put you on the spot. Why are you applying for this role?”
I was being interviewed, right there and then, in the middle of Coronation Street, in the rain.
“Urm, well…” I stuttered. “I’m a massive fan of the show…” I fell into default mode. Right after he told me not to. DAMN. I’m a fool.
“No, no, no. Try again.”
“I work in customer service… I enjoy working with the public, and I want to continue to do that somewhere more exciting than a supermarket.”
“EXCELLENT!” he said.
I went home, a bit more nervous. I spoke to another tour guide, Hannah, who gave me some more advice. “In my audition, I didn’t prepare a thing – I just spoke. I think they like people who like the sound of their own voice!” Oh jeez. I hate the sound of my own voice.
I prepared another audition piece. Here are the notes;
Hello…… my name is Tommy…. And I’ll be taking you around the Corrie set…. This is an exclusive tour, and I hope you’re very excited. Are you excited? Give us a yay!
Where have we all travelled from today?
Who wants to win my lucky Ena Sharples Bingo dabber? Tell me your favourite Corrie moment and the best one gets it!
When I first used my Ena Sharples bingo dabber, in 2011, I won £100, and the next day I met my first boyfriend. I hadn’t really used it since then, but after going back to Preston, I saw it, and thought it might bring me some good luck.
The day of the audition. I was more excited than nervous. I genuinely had no idea how the day would go. I got the tram into town, where it was sunny and lovely, and I sat down outside Costa with a can of red bull (bought from Tesco – cheeky, I know).
I went over to the set, and sat in the coffee shop. There, I saw a Very Handsome Man, sat on his own in front of me. I walked over to the Very Handsome Man, and asked him if he was auditioning too. The Very Handsome Man said yes, he was auditioning, so I sat down with him and we spoke. Very Handsome Man was an actor proper. “I’m a writer!” I said, hoping he’d fall in love with me. (He didn’t.)
Three other hopefuls came and sat with us. I was so thankful we all met before the audition. We bonded slightly because of our mutual nervousness, so when we got into the audition room and had to perform in front of each other, I think we were a bit more at ease.
The people who were judging us were called Andy and James. Both very friendly, which calmed me down.
I was up first. Hooray! I was hoping that’d be the case. I got up, and told my Brummy Elephant joke. It got a laugh, and I asked for people’s favourite corrie moments, and awarded the best one with my bingo dabber. (Which I then took back off him after my audition – sorry, but I’m superstitious.)
We then did a group audition. We had to come up with a new attraction in Manchester, and make a promo video for it. “Come on, Tommy!” said Very Handsome Man, “you’re the writer!”
My idea was a version of Madame Tussauds, where the wax works come to life and chase after you. I took control and directed the project, going slightly power mad in the process. I played the part of a Peter Barlow wax work. Perhaps my greatest performance to date. I was quite annoyed that I gave myself such a crappy part, because it didn’t show off my performance skills at all.
I came away from the audition confident that I did my best, but completely unsure if it was enough.
Later that day, I found out I was getting through to the next round, a phone interview! Score! They rang me up the next day, and then gave me the job there and then, on the phone. My first ever audition, and I was successful! Maybe I’m wasted as a writer. Maybe I should be an actor? Or a comedian? The BAFTAs are tomorrow, I reckon I still have time to get a last minute nomination. Look out, Olivia Colman!
I still, to this day, cannot believe my Brummy Elephant gag got me a job.
I’d like to take this opportunity to thank Tom and Claire, my Supervisors at Booths, who moved heaven and earth to accommodate me and my second job. And to all my fellow General Assistants who had to endure days of me talking about Deirdre Barlow’s loose vagina.
I begin in June. Cannot wait.
A few weeks ago, I applied for two jobs; Studio Booker in Media City and Tour Guide on Coronation Street. Honestly, I thought I had more of a chance booking studios - on my CV I managed to blag an entire paragraph about how I used to book cars using Microsoft Courier Log.
The Coronation Street job was one I was actually very interested in, but the application said the chosen applicant would preferably speak another language (Je M’appelle can’t) and that they’d have a degree in drama (I only had a GCSE). I applied anyway, because why not?
And then I received a letter in the post. I had an audition!
An audition!? Bloody hell. I spent the following week shouting, “I’m not an actor!” Of course, I was aware that being a tour guide would involve performance, that was fine, but an audition? With other actors? In FRONT of the other actors? Hungry, out-of-work actors? I felt like a fraud.
I wrote a one minute audition, which was a tour of Number One Coronation Street (the Barlow’s house) and the Rovers Return. In 2011, I went on a tour of the street when it was still a working set, and I remembered the little titbits of information we were given, and included them in my audition piece.
Here are the notes I made;
We’re at number one coronation st, home to the Barlow family ever since the first episode in 1960. This is the kitchen, where we’d often find Deirdre Barlow, drinking a glass of red wine (her favourite) or making a family meal.
Now, as we all know, Deirdre has had her fair share of men. You may notice that her oven door won’t shut properly. Her loose oven door represents her loose… morals.
Now if you’ll follow me, we’ll take a look at the Rovers! This ICONIC set’s walls and windows can be moved about, to allow the camera team to film from different angles. Through the magic of editing it gives the viewer the illusion that it’s all one room.
There is a lot of speculation of ghosts and ghouls on this set. A lot of spooky activity has been reported over the years, specifically from the doorway to the gents toilets.
Follow me to the set of the back room. Lots of history in here. Legends such as Annie Walker, Bet Lynch, Betty Turpin and Liz McDonald have walked among this set. You will rarely see a serious argument take place in this room. You may remember a recent caper in which Steve McDonald and Andrea are “caught in the act”, resulting in Steve getting kebab all over his face. The funky wall paper helps convey the humour many of the scenes filmed in here have.
I rehearsed and rehearsed, much to the annoyance of my co-workers at Booths, who had to listen to me repeat it constantly.
A week after I received my letter, I went on a set tour with my friend Claire. I’d decided that I’d use this opportunity as research. We were welcomed by Martin, who introduced David the Tour Guide. I studied David the Tour Guide a lot; his performance, movement, audience interaction, his jokes… but I was also just enjoying the tour. I bloody love Coronation Street. I was like the geeky kid on the school field trip, answering all of David the Tour Guide’s questions about the show. “Have you been reading my script?” he joked. I took this as a good sign.
After we’d seen the dressing rooms, the costume department and the sets, we were taken out onto the street. People were allowed to pair off and have a walk around, and I took this moment to speak to Martin and David the Tour Guide, and ask them for some tips.
“In the audition, don’t tell them you’re a fan. It puts them right off,” Martin said, then he pointed at me, “I’m gonna put you on the spot. Why are you applying for this role?”
I was being interviewed, right there and then, in the middle of Coronation Street, in the rain.
“Urm, well…” I stuttered. “I’m a massive fan of the show…” I fell into default mode. Right after he told me not to. DAMN. I’m a fool.
“No, no, no. Try again.”
“I work in customer service… I enjoy working with the public, and I want to continue to do that somewhere more exciting than a supermarket.”
“EXCELLENT!” he said.
I went home, a bit more nervous. I spoke to another tour guide, Hannah, who gave me some more advice. “In my audition, I didn’t prepare a thing – I just spoke. I think they like people who like the sound of their own voice!” Oh jeez. I hate the sound of my own voice.
I prepared another audition piece. Here are the notes;
Hello…… my name is Tommy…. And I’ll be taking you around the Corrie set…. This is an exclusive tour, and I hope you’re very excited. Are you excited? Give us a yay!
Where have we all travelled from today?
Who wants to win my lucky Ena Sharples Bingo dabber? Tell me your favourite Corrie moment and the best one gets it!
When I first used my Ena Sharples bingo dabber, in 2011, I won £100, and the next day I met my first boyfriend. I hadn’t really used it since then, but after going back to Preston, I saw it, and thought it might bring me some good luck.
The day of the audition. I was more excited than nervous. I genuinely had no idea how the day would go. I got the tram into town, where it was sunny and lovely, and I sat down outside Costa with a can of red bull (bought from Tesco – cheeky, I know).
I went over to the set, and sat in the coffee shop. There, I saw a Very Handsome Man, sat on his own in front of me. I walked over to the Very Handsome Man, and asked him if he was auditioning too. The Very Handsome Man said yes, he was auditioning, so I sat down with him and we spoke. Very Handsome Man was an actor proper. “I’m a writer!” I said, hoping he’d fall in love with me. (He didn’t.)
Three other hopefuls came and sat with us. I was so thankful we all met before the audition. We bonded slightly because of our mutual nervousness, so when we got into the audition room and had to perform in front of each other, I think we were a bit more at ease.
The people who were judging us were called Andy and James. Both very friendly, which calmed me down.
I was up first. Hooray! I was hoping that’d be the case. I got up, and told my Brummy Elephant joke. It got a laugh, and I asked for people’s favourite corrie moments, and awarded the best one with my bingo dabber. (Which I then took back off him after my audition – sorry, but I’m superstitious.)
We then did a group audition. We had to come up with a new attraction in Manchester, and make a promo video for it. “Come on, Tommy!” said Very Handsome Man, “you’re the writer!”
My idea was a version of Madame Tussauds, where the wax works come to life and chase after you. I took control and directed the project, going slightly power mad in the process. I played the part of a Peter Barlow wax work. Perhaps my greatest performance to date. I was quite annoyed that I gave myself such a crappy part, because it didn’t show off my performance skills at all.
I came away from the audition confident that I did my best, but completely unsure if it was enough.
Later that day, I found out I was getting through to the next round, a phone interview! Score! They rang me up the next day, and then gave me the job there and then, on the phone. My first ever audition, and I was successful! Maybe I’m wasted as a writer. Maybe I should be an actor? Or a comedian? The BAFTAs are tomorrow, I reckon I still have time to get a last minute nomination. Look out, Olivia Colman!
I still, to this day, cannot believe my Brummy Elephant gag got me a job.
I’d like to take this opportunity to thank Tom and Claire, my Supervisors at Booths, who moved heaven and earth to accommodate me and my second job. And to all my fellow General Assistants who had to endure days of me talking about Deirdre Barlow’s loose vagina.
I begin in June. Cannot wait.